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Wednesday, June 11, 2014

In the late 1960’s, there were approximately 3.5 billion people on this planet. Those of us who were born then grew up without the convenience of the Internet. All we know about the world were those things that we had personal contact with and what we heard our parents complaining about as they read the newspapers. Being the nosy and inquisitive person I am, I became addicted to the 6:30 p.m. news because I had to see what was going on in the world.

But even with Tom Brokaw spewing the news for 30 minutes each night and the extensive news coverage offered by the thick Sunday newspapers, we still knew very little of what was going on outside of our own worlds. Urban legends and stories of boogeymen were not accompanied by Photoshopped pictures and shaky, handheld camera videos that could make everything seem so real. Actually, to be honest, the first boogeyman I ever saw was Michael Myers in the movie “Halloween.” Prior to that movie, I never had a thought as to who or what the boogeyman was.

In 2000, there were approximately 6.1 billion people living on planet Earth and that number keeps on growing. That means that there is almost twice as many people out there than there was in the 1970’s, and a large segment of the population can be connected to each other by the Internet. That means that the weak-minded idiots who are easily manipulated now have unfettered access to a variety of ways to ruin their lives and the lives of the people around them.

Let’s talk, for a moment, about Slenderman. This is a boogeyman that was created in 2009 by some people on the Internet. The people who understand that Slenderman is a fake and fun story are creating interesting pictures and some fairly scary videos that they are releasing for mass consumption. But then the idiots have to come along and ruin everything.

Two 12-year-old female idiots in Wisconsin were so enamored with Slenderman that they tried to stab their 12-year-old female friend to death to get Slenderman’s attention. Is it Slenderman’s fault? No. Is it the creator of Slenderman’s fault? No. Is it the fault of the parents of these two idiots? No. The fault for this folly falls squarely in the laps of the two idiots who tried to appease an imaginary boogeyman by attempting a very real murder.

In 2040, the world population will crack the 9 billion mark and the population of complete morons will increase even more. Here is the rub that really grinds my gears; the idiots will be given clemency by a large portion of the population who will want to blame the Internet for the transgressions of an entire generation.

Stop blaming everyone, and everything, else for your own stupidity. We need to own up to the fact that everyone is responsible for their own actions and that the Internet is not for idiots.

Maybe the Internet gods could create a common sense test that everyone would have to take before they start using the Internet. Maybe the people at the Onion could create that test and then post the results each day for our amusement. I would be willing to bet that more people would fail that test than you would expect.

The Internet is simply a tool that is used to connect people from all over the world. Blaming the Internet for inspiring idiots to do stupid things would be akin to blaming the plastic forks at your favorite fast food restaurant for making people fat.

The 12-year-old victim in Wisconsin will survive and the idiots face prison terms that could be as much as 65 years for each of them. In this instance, being an idiot comes with a prison sentence, which we should all be thankful for.

The one thing I will admit is that the Internet can make parenting more difficult than it already is. The phrase “But I saw it on the Internet so it must be true” has been uttered by more than one pre-pubescent child to their parents since Al Gore first invented the Internet. How is a parent supposed to keep up with the idiot-fodder that is created by the Internet each and every day?

By the time a child reaches 12 years old, one would hope that the child understands the difference between fantasy and reality. But the Internet blurs that line and that is why the Internet is not for idiots. The more idiots that are exposed to the Internet, the more dangerous the world becomes. Is it the Internet’s fault? No, it is not. But there is always a consequence to progress and, in this case, the consequence is a world full of idiots who are all exposed to an increasing number of bad ideas.

Imagine how bad it will get when there are 9 billion people on this planet and an even more intrusive Internet. By then, we will probably have to embrace our idiot overlords and accept the fact that time is running out for the human race.

Nick Oliver is a Niagara County resident who is allergic to idiots. His column appears every Wednesday and is a work of pure fiction . . . or is it?



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1 comment:

  1. Hear hear! I've actually been on the internet for quite some time (since 1991, actually). I've seen the net go from a useful tool of resources to a useless tool of blame. People have shed personal accountability for instant gratification. Some one cheats on a spouse, they blame facebook. Some one is bullying some one else, they blame society and social cliches. No one seems to make their children do chores in exchange for internet usage (the way we used to do to get TV time). And parents aren't monitoring what their children are accessing. Parents are on facebook so their children are, too. And facebook is only the mainstream site that every one seems to know at the moment. We won't talk about the sites we fear our children finding by accidentally typing in the wrong url. And I'm afraid we may already be too close to facing the internet overlords...
    On the other hand, when used properly, we are able to expose ourselves to culture and art we would not be able to see in our home town. We can meet and befriend people from all over the world, to get a better idea of how the rest of the world really is (new age pen pals). We can share and create information of our hobbies, hopes, dreams, and personal art. And we can only hope people will learn to be more accountable for the impact they make on the world, in real life as well as their digital one.

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