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Wednesday, October 29, 2014

I love music. When I get the chance and no one is around, I still blast some of my favorite albums. But for the love of God, what is with all of the bass lately? It is turning Lockport into the kind of place where families do not want to live, and it is getting worse. There has to be something that someone can do about this.

To be honest, I don’t care if you play your music loud. If the music was properly mixed, then the sound would actually only bother your neighbors. But when the bass is so loud that it rattles windows two blocks over, then there is absolutely no way you are enjoying your music. You are purposely pumping your bass to annoy people and show everyone how awesome your stereo system is. Neither the stereo, nor you, are awesome.

First of all, let me let you in on a little something that I know you will refuse to believe. After years of listening to loud music, I have a high-pitched whistle that I hear all of the time. It is called tinnitus and you, my friend, are headed in that direction. I know your massive awesomeness does not allow you to believe that but, trust me, your hearing will be shot by the time you reach 35 years old.

Secondly, no one is impressed with your stereo except for you and the few dimwitted friends that you are trying to impress with your kicking bass. Have you ever rolled up on a lady with your bass pumping and had her just have to get in the car with you? No, you haven’t. You know why? Because playing your bass like that makes you look like a moron who doesn’t get enough attention.

I mean, if the bass on your stereo is a lady magnet, then please, by all means, do continue with your thumping of the entire neighborhood. But I will bet a month’s worth of pay that you repel every male and female human being and domesticated animal that comes within 20 feet of your lame stereo. Every single one of them.

I know I am not the only person in Lockport who is annoyed with this. I know that I am not the only person in Lockport who sees this kind of behavior as the stuff that will deteriorate our city from the inside out. My windows start rattling at 7:30 a.m. and do not stop until well into the evening. It isn’t cute or funny anymore, it is downright disrespectful. And if there is one thing I hate, it is idiots being disrespectful in my city.

I have never called the police on anyone in my life. But if this bass thumping thing does not stop, then I will start to call the police. I have discussed this whole thing with a police officer friend of mine and this is how it works. The police get a complaint and they investigate it. Usually, if you can help give the police a general idea of a location or you can provide a license plate number, then they are very good at tracking down the offender. The first time, it is a warning. The second time, it is a citation to appear in court. If you decide that you are too hardcore to obey the citation, then you go to jail because you just have to show how awesome your stereo can be.

Look, no one wants to take away anyone’s right to listen to music. So when you pump your bass to make your little statement, you are only offending people who were not offended by you in the first place. Like I said, properly mixed stereos sound great and do not offend anyone in the surrounding area. But when you mix the bass so deep, all you are doing is trying to show everyone how cool you are.

I get it; you feel like you need to make a statement that you should be allowed to play your music however you want. If you really feel that way, then go live in the rural areas where you can blast your music from your roof with a 5,000-watt P.A. and no one will care. But in a city where families live and other people besides you have jobs, all you are doing is creating a nuisance.

To the citizens of Lockport I say that it is time to stop letting these bass thumpers take over our city. If the bass is rattling your house and you can get a general idea as to what house it is coming from, then call the police. If it is a car that is thumping the bass, then get the license plate number and call the police.

To the politicians who run Lockport; this has to stop. Our population is dwindling for a lot of reasons, but this is a stupid reason to lose a tax base over. There was a time when police were out with decibel meters looking for offenders. I used to think that was silly because there was no bass problem then. When you blast your stereo in your car, I can forget about you as soon as you pass my house. But when you thump that bass, it takes a block or two before you stop disrupting my life.

This absolutely has to be put to an end immediately. This is the sort of thing that prevents good people from wanting to help revitalize deteriorated areas of our city. If you think I am overreacting, then you are obviously not dealing with this garbage and are very lucky. But if you understand what I am saying, then now you need to start doing something about it.

Nick Oliver is a Niagara County resident who loves loud music, but hates unnecessary bass thumping. His column appears every Wednesday and only annoys the people who read it.

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