I usually do not read other reviewer’s opinions of movies before I write my own reviews because I do not like to be skewed in one direction or the other. Either I like a movie and I tell you why, or I hate a movie and I tell you why. I very rarely have “meh” opinions on movies because I believe that if you are going to take the time to make a movie, then make something worthwhile.

I also am a big believer in the fact that not every movie has to be Casablanca. There were plenty of fun movies that were panned by the critics for whatever reason, but still made big bank. The reason these movies are so successful is because they play to a certain kind of audience that will always come back for more. No movie mogul knows that better than Sly Stallone.

Stallone knows his audience better than any other entertainment figure working today and the Expendables movies are proof of that. Sly wanted his Judge Dredd movie to be the start of a new franchise that he could put alongside of Rocky and Rambo on his resume, but Dredd bombed and Sly moved on to the Expendables format. It is pure genius, for what it is, and Stallone knows he can make 10 more of these movies and they will always make a profit. I know two movie tickets he will always sell to an Expendables movie and my wife and I are not ashamed to admit it.

There is no point in warning against spoilers for The Expendables 3 because the plot is the same as the other Expendables movies. The Expendables go on a mission, they get surprised, one gets injured in some way, and the rest of the movie is centered around Barney getting revenge for his fallen brother in arms. I would expect that The Expendables 4, 5, 6, 7, etc. will have the same plot and they will all be just as entertaining.

Expendables movies are guy movies and everyone knows it. The humor is written for guys and the action is written for guys. But where an Expendables movie separates itself from a Michael Bay Boom! Bay! Splosions! movie is that the Expendables movies all offer some form of character development. We know these characters, we know what these characters can do, and we all want to see these characters kick the crap out of the bad guy and win in the end. Classic Stallone and it works every time.

The testosterone in this movie is so thick that your red licorice would get erect during the course of watching the film, but that is what these movies are for. Even the women in these movies kick ass and they are usually far from token female roles.

As usual, Stallone allows Ah-nold to reprise some of his cliché lines, but it is all in good fun. The story with an Expendables movie is not the plot (which has holes big enough to fly an army transport jet through), it is the way that the plot is carried out. Stallone as Barney (the leader) sneers his way through the entire movie, but then shows that Barney, deep down, really does have a heart of gold. Jason Statham as Barney’s sidekick Christmas trades one-liners with Stallone throughout the entire movie. Statham’s accent makes it impossible to understand what he is saying, but it doesn’t really matter.

Harrison Ford shows up in this movie and basically plays the same role he played in Cowboys Vs Aliens. Ford is a hard-nosed authority figure who just wants to have a part in taking out the bad guys.

Mel Gibson actually delivers a superb performance as the bad guy. I was actually impressed with the way that Gibson held back on his character’s outwardly crazy side and only allowed occasional outbursts of insanity to bubble to the top.

The guy who stole the movie was Antonio Banderas. I don’t remember Banderas being an action hero, but he is now. The sad thing is that I could actually understand what Banderas was saying easier than I could Statham. Banderas has the large majority of really good one-liners and he also pulled off a pretty complicated character very well. Banderas’ timing in this movie is a joy to watch and he had the wife and I laughing out loud more than once.

Wesley Snipes makes his film return in The Expendables 3, but they barely use him after the opening scene. Kelsey Grammer plays a fun role that kind of pops in and then pops out without doing any damage to the flow of the film. Then there are the four young actors who I have never heard of and found completely forgettable in this movie. The movie would have been fine with or without the kids, but the kids did give Gibson plenty of fuel for some pretty good one-liners.

Saying that an Expendables movie is a crappy movie is like pointing out that McDonald’s food is not really food. We all know that, but it doesn’t change the fact that it is popular. The Expendables 3 is a fun drive-in movie and worth seeing at least once.

Rating: 1 ½ out of 5

George N Root III is a movie addict who spends his spring, summer, and fall weekends at the drive-in. Get out to the drive-in at least once before school opens! You won’t regret it!

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