The significance of the Fourth of July in the history of our country is never lost on me. I respect and appreciate the sacrifices that our founding fathers made and the peril they put themselves in by signing the Declaration of Independence.

I can also understand why we shoot off fireworks to celebrate the anniversary of our declaration of being an independent country. The sounds of the fireworks remind us of the battles that were fought for our freedom and the colors represent the excitement that comes with being the good ol’ U S of A.

Trust me, when it comes to being a proud American around the Fourth of July, I totally get it. What I don’t get, or appreciate, is why some people feel the need to blow off fireworks in densely populated areas of our city. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate our freedom as much as anybody. But I do not appreciate the inconsiderate jerks who feel like they are the only people who live in their neighborhoods.

In my life as a home owning adult, I have never called the cops on people shooting off fireworks in my densely populated neighborhood. This despite the fact that, each July 5th morning, I find empty rocket shells in my front yard. I even found a couple of dud bottle rockets jammed in the shingles of my house one year. Had they not been duds…

I have never called the cops on Fourth of July revelers, but that changes this year. I know that the police will probably not come because they are way too busy on the Fourth, but I will be calling this year. Why? Well, for one thing, I am a grumpy old man who hates other people. But that is not the only reason.

Like I said, I live in a densely populated area. What type of mental midget decides that it is safe, or even fair, to blow off rockets in an area where there are houses all around? What kind of idiot determines that it is okay to blow off extremely loud fireworks at 11:00 p.m.? Our neighborhood is starting to fill up with more kids and these kids sleep at night. I am also pretty sure that there are people in my neighborhood who have to get up for work on the morning of July 5th. I live with one such person and she has a hard enough time sleeping as it is.

So let me address the people who like to blow off fireworks in densely populated areas on the Fourth of July directly . . .

You weak-minded piece of human garbage. Who the hell do you think you are? My family loves celebrating Christmas. What if we stood outside your door and rang loud jingle bells all Christmas Eve? How about we build a frigging sleigh and land it on your roof? It’s okay, right? I mean, who cares?

If you absolutely have to blow off fireworks on the Fourth of July, which I totally understand, then shoot them out over the canal. Why don’t you go to one of the many parks we have in the city and shoot off your frigging property destroying noise makers there? You are a prime example of the worst kind of neighbor and the kind of person that should have their newspaper tied to a rock and thrown through their front window every morning.

This year, I am encouraging everyone to call the cops on neighborhood fireworks morons. If the cops do not show up (which, once again, you really cannot blame them on the Fourth of July) then the neighborhood should band together and shut these lowlifes down.

If you still think that blowing off fireworks in a neighborhood at night is a stupid thing to complain about, I once again encourage you to think about how you would like it if I blew off fireworks in the neighborhood on New Year’s Eve. Maybe you will wake up with a bottle rocket wedged in your roof and thank God that your frigging house did not burn down.

Don’t be that person. Don’t be the simple-minded cretin who thinks that they are the only people in the neighborhood who matters. Be considerate of the rest of your neighbors and take your fireworks someplace else.

This Fourth of July, celebrate like a proud American and not like a Neanderthal. Be considerate and keep your fireworks out of our neighborhoods.

Nick Oliver is a Niagara County resident who does not want to see his house burned down by Neanderthals. Be safe this Fourth of July and Go USA!

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